I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
