The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
