I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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