We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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