I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
