it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
