I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
