Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
you made out with another girl for some wings
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
