She is in my trunk
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
