The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
She's JV to your varsity
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
