Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
