belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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