I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize