Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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