i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
