tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
