can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
