Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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