Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize