i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
