I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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