he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
