can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize