I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
