Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
