So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
