Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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