Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
