OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
