Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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