Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
