my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
