It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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