I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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