Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
