is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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