Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
