hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
