she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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