Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
