I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i came on her dog
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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