I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
