3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
