Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
