dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
