I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I could fuck to npr.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
