can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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