i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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