that's an acceptable place to lick
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
