Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
