he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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