Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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