so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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