Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
