so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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