You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
