Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
