I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize