dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
