I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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