I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
