How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
