So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
