bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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