Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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