do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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