idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
